Monsoon maladies

- Guffadi

Jul 12, 2019-

Our national comedian turned Prime Monster tells us that he himself doesn’t know what’s happening in the country. If only Oli Ba was active on social media, then he would have known everything that’s going around in our land. Maybe our PM needs to hire Kulman Dai at Baluwatar so that he will no longer be in the dark because there seems to be a serious case of load shedding there.

Oli has changed from a great proverb teller to a slimy fortune teller and by the time he leaves Baluwatar, he will be known as the man who didn’t even know himself. Oli tells us that it’s time to evaluate the performance of his courtiers, but it’s also time for Oli to evaluate himself and give himself a failing grade for not doing anything for this country so far. Oli can do us proud if he announces a mission to a black hole with all our netas and high-ranking civil servants inside the spacecraft.

Our politicians from the left, the right and the centre have shown that at the end of the day, no matter how much good or bad you talk about your chimeki, the Indian Ambassador will put you in your place with one letter or a phone call or a gift or a luncheon or just plain threats. Maybe, we should also call up the Ambassador and ask him to help us help our netas to be on the right track. After all, our thulo mancheys do not listen to anyone except the folks from Lazimpat.

That has been our Game of Thrones for the past seventy years, ever since the Desis invited our Ranas and the rest of us to sign the deal. From then on, we have been signing so many deals with each other that when the opportunity comes to make a little bit of extra dough, the deal will be broken and the country will suffer again. 

We should learn a thing or two from the Desis. At least their government looks out for its citizens and helps protect its businesses. It would be better if we could have a third party to test products from both countries just to be on the safe side but the most important thing is for a government to protect its people and property. Our government has time and again destroyed our own industries and forced young people to migrate to foreign lands to make a few more Dinars. Our civil servants and clowns who sit in the House have looted this country and they will not hesitate to leave this land if they are in trouble.

Post photo: Prakash Chandra Timilsena

The monsoon has begun, and with every monsoon begins the development season in Nepal where our contractors are all busy paving our roads, digging ditches, building bridges and carrying out many other bikasey karyakrams. We, the people, just whine and then have no choice but to walk on hilo. Our potholes are large enough to swallow our motorcycles and mancheys. But our Mayors don’t care at all. The Mayor in Kathmandu has already given up on his promises. He just wants to finish his term, make tons of moolah and probably retire in Australia. Maybe, he can build a Dharahara there with his ill-gotten money.

It’s ironic that our government tells the Desis that we won’t allow their veggies in our land unless it’s tested for harmful chemicals when we don’t even have the resources to carry out the tests. We cannot blame our chimekis for their veggies, buffaloes and fuel and all the stuff that helps to widen the trade deficit. We have to blame our government for doing nothing to help our own farmers and the young folks in this land. 

Our youth are overseas and we don’t have enough folks to work in our farm lands. We have been importing ten times more veggies and food products from India compared to what we imported a decade ago. Our trade deficit has also grown ten times more and our government doesn’t have a plan to minimise the deficit. In the next decade, we might be importing everything from our chimekis.

Every Monsoon, our capital turns into mini-Venice, without the boats. The least the government could do to help its citizens is by providing everyone raincoats and gumboots at subsidized rates because we all surely won’t be getting red carpet treatment on hilo roads like Oli does when he visits TU. 

We blame our mantris for not doing their job. Our mantris blame the government agencies for not doing their job. Our civil servants blame the contractors for not doing their job. And the contractors blame us for not allowing them to do their job. So, at the end of the day, we, the people, are blamed for all the problems in this land. 

Our politicians have it worse than us. We only have to feed our families with our paycheck. Our politicians have to feed their cousins and cadres with the nation’s paycheck. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

Published: 13-07-2019 06:30

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